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asaelPossibly it is unprecedented for me to post two fics so soon after one another. It'll probably never happen again! I am trying to get in the groove of writing more, though. The title of this fic comes from the title of a poem, which you can find a translation of here.
Two Billion Light-years of Solitude
Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Mukuro & Hibari, hints of others
Most research showed that long term sensory deprivation had many negative effects. It wasn't impossible to think that it could drive one mad. Of course, most people would say that Rokudo Mukuro had been mad long before they put him in that tank, and he wouldn't bother to argue with them. Still, it was lucky that he had a way out – even when there were no bodies to possess, no work to be done, he could always walk in illusions.
It wasn't the same, even so. The worlds he created on his own, with trees and flowers and wide open skies, were not real, and even if they would have fooled every other soul on the planet, they could never completely fool their creator. Most days it didn't matter. Mukuro could lose himself in these worlds, breathe the air and dip his feet in streams just cool enough to be refreshing. Sometimes he would bring Chrome, as she was good company and never asked anything of him.
But now and then it wasn't enough. He walked through the green grass with the sun shining brightly overhead, and felt no warmth on his skin – only the tepid grittiness of the liquid his body floated in. The air tasted stale, recirculated, no matter how many soft breezes pulled at the strands of his hair.
Those were the days he had to get out. The Vongola family didn't always need him and rarely wanted him around – particularly now, when things were quiet and there were no threats evident. Tsunayoshi wanted a calm life as he entered high school, and so far he was getting it. This meant there was no need for Mukuro's abilities, and as such, he had nothing to entertain himself and no reason to slip into another's body.
Not that that would or did stop him. But on this particular day, it did change his plans. Chrome, of course, was always his first choice, and indeed he rarely used another body unless necessary. She never minded, never complained, and never told a soul of Mukuro's occasional weakness.
Today, though, as he slipped into her mind, it seemed the stars just weren't aligned properly.
Mukuro's heart might be a cold, black, withered thing, but there were some few people he cared about, even if he would never admit it. He didn't disturb Chrome this time, only watching for a moment – long enough to (figuratively) bring an amused smile to his lips. His dear Chrome seemed to be on a date. With, of all people, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Her mind felt warm, and it was clear she was enjoying herself. When that was the case, how could Mukuro possibly interrupt her?
Besides, if Tsuna was interested in his Chrome, that could prove extremely useful later on.
It didn't satisfy his current desires, however, and after a moment, he left her alone – that evening, he'd get the details, but for now it was time to move on.
After a moment's thought, he slipped into another body. Chrome was always the easiest because she was willing, but there were any number of others who he could possess if he chose, and though he hadn't used this body for awhile, it was familiar. Later, there would be trouble because of his choice, but he never minded causing trouble, and in fact fully planned to claim that was his entire reason.
He opened the eyes of the body, surveying his surroundings. Namimori High School, the edge of school grounds. He was slouching against the bleachers, trying not to look like he was watching baseball practice – or so Mukuro assumed. He smiled with Gokudera's mouth and straightened a little, breathing in the clean, crisp, real air.
The noises of the baseball players quickly got annoying, and Mukuro stood up. Before leaving, he took care to wink at one of the players in a decidedly non-innocent, non-Gokudera way – and the look he got from Yamamoto in return was extremely entertaining. Mukuro trusted that he wouldn't ditch practice for that, though, and he was correct. When Mukuro entered the school building, he was alone.
It was nearly empty. He could hear the faint strains of the music club from somewhere in the building, but most of the students were gone. It was ideal – Mukuro didn't particularly like people, though they were certainly useful and entertaining at times. Now wasn't one of those times. All he wanted was a breath of freedom for a moment or two.
Mukuro smiled slightly as he realized he was heading to the roof – not a usual expression for Gokudera, but he wasn't trying to be subtle today. He pushed the door open, already feeling calmer – stronger. His real body was still trapped, chained, but for these few moments he could pretend otherwise.
The roof was someone else's territory, and Mukuro hadn't forgotten that for a moment. When he felt movement behind him, he turned – jumping backward just in time to dodge a tonfa.
"Get out," was all Hibari said, that perpetual frown on his face. Mukuro couldn't help laughing.
"Am I disturbing your nest? I'm not here for a fight," he responded, voice light – he saw no reason to play the part of the body he inhabited.
Hibari's frown quickly turned into a full scowl. He was a bright one, Mukuro thought, it hadn't taken him more than a moment to catch on – an observation which was quickly proven when Hibari spoke again. "Mukuro." He raised his tonfa, clearly ready for a fight.
Mukuro casually turned his back on Hibari, walking to the fence and holding on to the chain links as he looked out over the school grounds. It was a cloudy day – appropriate, he thought, and smiled. "Didn't you hear? I'm not here for a fight." He glanced back over his shoulder, catching sight of Hibari. "You could attack anyway, I suppose, but then you'll have to explain why you attacked one of your fellow Guardians. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if it were really me, but poor Gokudera..." His voice was still light and teasing, and he knew it would only irritate Hibari more.
Hibari only gripped his tonfa tighter, clearly Gokudera's wellbeing was not at the top of his priority list. But after a moment, he stepped back and turned away. "Just leave."
"I won't," Mukuro said, but he decided to attempt to extend the olive branch. A few seconds later, Gokudera's form was replaced by his own – not his real one, of course, chained and bound thousands of miles away, but the one he wore whenever he interacted with the Vongola. This time he wore the Namimori uniform, but whether he meant it as another peace gesture or as a way to tease Hibari, even he wasn't entirely sure. "Don't you worry, I'll be gone before you know it."
He didn't see Hibari looking at him again, for just a little too long this time. Mukuro had turned back to look at the sky, fingers tightening on the chain links of the fence.
"What are you doing here?" Hibari asked, not at all polite. But he didn't attack again, and that was all Mukuro really cared about.
For just this short time, he could pretend to be free. It had been a long time since he'd done this, and Hibari was never the type to share confidences with the other Vongola followers. Maybe that was why Mukuro was more honest than he normally would be – or maybe those were just excuses. Maybe he knew that he and Hibari had more in common than Hibari would ever admit. Maybe he was just tired. "I needed to breathe," was all he said, and his tone was almost gentle. Almost weak, someone might have said, if that person had never met Mukuro.
But Hibari had, in fact, met Mukuro, and he knew that any apparent weakness on Mukuro's part could just as easily be a trap. Mukuro was certain that he wouldn't take Mukuro's words at face value, so why not tell the truth?
Apparently Mukuro didn't know Hibari as well as he thought.
This time he felt Hibari's eyes on him before he heard the Cloud Guardian speak. "This is how you escape your cage?"
Mukuro smiled slightly and turned to face Hibari. "It's the closest I can get. Don't you think even a creature like me deserves some freedom?"
"No," Hibari said, "you ought to be locked up until you rot." But there was no venom in his words, and the look in his eyes was more measuring than hateful.
"And so I will be," Mukuro said. He liked that look in Hibari's eyes, maybe more than he liked the hate he'd seen whenever they faced each other. "Rest easy, Hibari Kyoya. They'd never let a murderer like me walk free. But then again, you're racking up bodies for the Vongola these days too, aren't you?" He smiled. "How does it feel to be their blunt instrument?"
Hibari frowned, but didn't seem to mind Mukuro's provocation all that much. "What does that make you?" He'd come closer, and Mukuro could reach out and touch him if he wished.
He did. His fingertips brushed Hibari's cheek, and the feeling almost surprised Mukuro – it was only then that he realized how long it had been since he'd touched another human being for any reason other than death. "Oh, I don't know. Poison in the cup, perhaps." He smiled and let his hand fall, amazed and rather pleased that Hibari had let him do that. Something inside him calmed down, just a little.
"Cyanide seems appropriate," Hibari said, his eyes not wavering from Mukuro's face.
"Yes," Mukuro said, and he closed his eyes. It was time to go, before he made a fatal mistake. Mukuro couldn't afford any mistakes, and this conversation – this boy – was throwing him off. Some part of him wanted to stay, and that's how he knew it was time to go. He opened his eyes again and smiled at Hibari.
"I'll be seeing you."
The illusion of his body disappeared, and Mukuro simultaneously released Gokudera, slipping out of his mind and back into his own body. He wondered what Gokudera would think, finding himself on a rooftop with Hibari. He was sure it would be amusing.
The familiar feelings settled around him. Confinement, suspension, emptiness – the feeling of being trapped. The shackles on his limbs that he could barely feel, the oxygen that tasted of plastic and metal.
But it was all right. He could still feel the crisp air in his lungs, and he could still remember the look in Hibari's eyes.
He'd survive.
Two Billion Light-years of Solitude
Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Mukuro & Hibari, hints of others
Most research showed that long term sensory deprivation had many negative effects. It wasn't impossible to think that it could drive one mad. Of course, most people would say that Rokudo Mukuro had been mad long before they put him in that tank, and he wouldn't bother to argue with them. Still, it was lucky that he had a way out – even when there were no bodies to possess, no work to be done, he could always walk in illusions.
It wasn't the same, even so. The worlds he created on his own, with trees and flowers and wide open skies, were not real, and even if they would have fooled every other soul on the planet, they could never completely fool their creator. Most days it didn't matter. Mukuro could lose himself in these worlds, breathe the air and dip his feet in streams just cool enough to be refreshing. Sometimes he would bring Chrome, as she was good company and never asked anything of him.
But now and then it wasn't enough. He walked through the green grass with the sun shining brightly overhead, and felt no warmth on his skin – only the tepid grittiness of the liquid his body floated in. The air tasted stale, recirculated, no matter how many soft breezes pulled at the strands of his hair.
Those were the days he had to get out. The Vongola family didn't always need him and rarely wanted him around – particularly now, when things were quiet and there were no threats evident. Tsunayoshi wanted a calm life as he entered high school, and so far he was getting it. This meant there was no need for Mukuro's abilities, and as such, he had nothing to entertain himself and no reason to slip into another's body.
Not that that would or did stop him. But on this particular day, it did change his plans. Chrome, of course, was always his first choice, and indeed he rarely used another body unless necessary. She never minded, never complained, and never told a soul of Mukuro's occasional weakness.
Today, though, as he slipped into her mind, it seemed the stars just weren't aligned properly.
Mukuro's heart might be a cold, black, withered thing, but there were some few people he cared about, even if he would never admit it. He didn't disturb Chrome this time, only watching for a moment – long enough to (figuratively) bring an amused smile to his lips. His dear Chrome seemed to be on a date. With, of all people, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Her mind felt warm, and it was clear she was enjoying herself. When that was the case, how could Mukuro possibly interrupt her?
Besides, if Tsuna was interested in his Chrome, that could prove extremely useful later on.
It didn't satisfy his current desires, however, and after a moment, he left her alone – that evening, he'd get the details, but for now it was time to move on.
After a moment's thought, he slipped into another body. Chrome was always the easiest because she was willing, but there were any number of others who he could possess if he chose, and though he hadn't used this body for awhile, it was familiar. Later, there would be trouble because of his choice, but he never minded causing trouble, and in fact fully planned to claim that was his entire reason.
He opened the eyes of the body, surveying his surroundings. Namimori High School, the edge of school grounds. He was slouching against the bleachers, trying not to look like he was watching baseball practice – or so Mukuro assumed. He smiled with Gokudera's mouth and straightened a little, breathing in the clean, crisp, real air.
The noises of the baseball players quickly got annoying, and Mukuro stood up. Before leaving, he took care to wink at one of the players in a decidedly non-innocent, non-Gokudera way – and the look he got from Yamamoto in return was extremely entertaining. Mukuro trusted that he wouldn't ditch practice for that, though, and he was correct. When Mukuro entered the school building, he was alone.
It was nearly empty. He could hear the faint strains of the music club from somewhere in the building, but most of the students were gone. It was ideal – Mukuro didn't particularly like people, though they were certainly useful and entertaining at times. Now wasn't one of those times. All he wanted was a breath of freedom for a moment or two.
Mukuro smiled slightly as he realized he was heading to the roof – not a usual expression for Gokudera, but he wasn't trying to be subtle today. He pushed the door open, already feeling calmer – stronger. His real body was still trapped, chained, but for these few moments he could pretend otherwise.
The roof was someone else's territory, and Mukuro hadn't forgotten that for a moment. When he felt movement behind him, he turned – jumping backward just in time to dodge a tonfa.
"Get out," was all Hibari said, that perpetual frown on his face. Mukuro couldn't help laughing.
"Am I disturbing your nest? I'm not here for a fight," he responded, voice light – he saw no reason to play the part of the body he inhabited.
Hibari's frown quickly turned into a full scowl. He was a bright one, Mukuro thought, it hadn't taken him more than a moment to catch on – an observation which was quickly proven when Hibari spoke again. "Mukuro." He raised his tonfa, clearly ready for a fight.
Mukuro casually turned his back on Hibari, walking to the fence and holding on to the chain links as he looked out over the school grounds. It was a cloudy day – appropriate, he thought, and smiled. "Didn't you hear? I'm not here for a fight." He glanced back over his shoulder, catching sight of Hibari. "You could attack anyway, I suppose, but then you'll have to explain why you attacked one of your fellow Guardians. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if it were really me, but poor Gokudera..." His voice was still light and teasing, and he knew it would only irritate Hibari more.
Hibari only gripped his tonfa tighter, clearly Gokudera's wellbeing was not at the top of his priority list. But after a moment, he stepped back and turned away. "Just leave."
"I won't," Mukuro said, but he decided to attempt to extend the olive branch. A few seconds later, Gokudera's form was replaced by his own – not his real one, of course, chained and bound thousands of miles away, but the one he wore whenever he interacted with the Vongola. This time he wore the Namimori uniform, but whether he meant it as another peace gesture or as a way to tease Hibari, even he wasn't entirely sure. "Don't you worry, I'll be gone before you know it."
He didn't see Hibari looking at him again, for just a little too long this time. Mukuro had turned back to look at the sky, fingers tightening on the chain links of the fence.
"What are you doing here?" Hibari asked, not at all polite. But he didn't attack again, and that was all Mukuro really cared about.
For just this short time, he could pretend to be free. It had been a long time since he'd done this, and Hibari was never the type to share confidences with the other Vongola followers. Maybe that was why Mukuro was more honest than he normally would be – or maybe those were just excuses. Maybe he knew that he and Hibari had more in common than Hibari would ever admit. Maybe he was just tired. "I needed to breathe," was all he said, and his tone was almost gentle. Almost weak, someone might have said, if that person had never met Mukuro.
But Hibari had, in fact, met Mukuro, and he knew that any apparent weakness on Mukuro's part could just as easily be a trap. Mukuro was certain that he wouldn't take Mukuro's words at face value, so why not tell the truth?
Apparently Mukuro didn't know Hibari as well as he thought.
This time he felt Hibari's eyes on him before he heard the Cloud Guardian speak. "This is how you escape your cage?"
Mukuro smiled slightly and turned to face Hibari. "It's the closest I can get. Don't you think even a creature like me deserves some freedom?"
"No," Hibari said, "you ought to be locked up until you rot." But there was no venom in his words, and the look in his eyes was more measuring than hateful.
"And so I will be," Mukuro said. He liked that look in Hibari's eyes, maybe more than he liked the hate he'd seen whenever they faced each other. "Rest easy, Hibari Kyoya. They'd never let a murderer like me walk free. But then again, you're racking up bodies for the Vongola these days too, aren't you?" He smiled. "How does it feel to be their blunt instrument?"
Hibari frowned, but didn't seem to mind Mukuro's provocation all that much. "What does that make you?" He'd come closer, and Mukuro could reach out and touch him if he wished.
He did. His fingertips brushed Hibari's cheek, and the feeling almost surprised Mukuro – it was only then that he realized how long it had been since he'd touched another human being for any reason other than death. "Oh, I don't know. Poison in the cup, perhaps." He smiled and let his hand fall, amazed and rather pleased that Hibari had let him do that. Something inside him calmed down, just a little.
"Cyanide seems appropriate," Hibari said, his eyes not wavering from Mukuro's face.
"Yes," Mukuro said, and he closed his eyes. It was time to go, before he made a fatal mistake. Mukuro couldn't afford any mistakes, and this conversation – this boy – was throwing him off. Some part of him wanted to stay, and that's how he knew it was time to go. He opened his eyes again and smiled at Hibari.
"I'll be seeing you."
The illusion of his body disappeared, and Mukuro simultaneously released Gokudera, slipping out of his mind and back into his own body. He wondered what Gokudera would think, finding himself on a rooftop with Hibari. He was sure it would be amusing.
The familiar feelings settled around him. Confinement, suspension, emptiness – the feeling of being trapped. The shackles on his limbs that he could barely feel, the oxygen that tasted of plastic and metal.
But it was all right. He could still feel the crisp air in his lungs, and he could still remember the look in Hibari's eyes.
He'd survive.
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Date: 2008-11-08 03:52 pm (UTC)should i be worried?!!!?
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Date: 2008-11-09 05:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 06:40 pm (UTC)Great job! :D
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Date: 2008-11-09 05:24 am (UTC)Is that doujinshi available online anywhere? I really want to read it now. XD
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Date: 2008-11-14 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-01 03:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-02 01:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 08:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 09:21 pm (UTC)