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Though I'm writing slowly, I promise I am going to write all those prompts! I just keep making them longer than ficlet sized. This one's from [ profile] ang3l_sh1: Hibari wakes up one day and realise that he's pretty much settled into a married life with Mukuro. What is his reaction? Thank you for the prompt! Sorry if this one is a little shaky, I realized I have no real idea what married life is supposed to be like. D:

A Dirty Word
Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Hibari woke and rolled over, jabbing an elbow into Mukuro’s side. Mukuro mumbled something unintelligible and pulled the blanket over his head, so Hibari left him alone and got up. Who’d have thought that Mukuro, who never let his guard down, would be so difficult to wake up in the morning? It was particularly annoying because Hibari had seen him come awake at the slightest noise when they were on a mission.

He shuffled to the kitchen and started the coffeepot, rummaging through the cupboards until he found the appropriate ingredients for breakfast. The eggs were almost ready by the time Mukuro came out of the bedroom, altogether too bright-eyed for someone who’d been reluctant to wake up fifteen minutes ago.

Hibari scowled at him. “We’re out of orange juice,” he said accusingly, removing four strips of bacon from the frying pan.

Mukuro poured himself a cup of coffee. “I’ll pick some up after my mission. Tsunayoshi’s got me taking care of some upstart street gang this evening, so I’ll be back late.”

“Fine,” Hibari said, taking some plates down. He wouldn’t bother with dinner, then - no point in cooking for one. Kusakabe would bring takeout if ordered. “Just don’t get blood on the carpet again.”

“That was you,” Mukuro said, bringing two cups of coffee to the table. “Well, I suppose it was both of us. You really should work on expressing your anger in a less violent way, Kyoya.” He smirked. “Not that it’s not sexy.”

Hibari set their plates on the table and sat down. “I told you if you kept leaving the milk out I’d kill you. Even if you were only doing it to piss me off.”

Mukuro laughed, unrepentant, and sprinkled some pepper on his eggs. “You must admit, the sex was great.”

“Only freaks like you would consider that kind of thing foreplay,” Hibari said, finishing his coffee.

“Freaks like you and me,” Mukuro said in a sing-song voice. “Do you need me to pick up anything else, or just orange juice?”

“Nothing else,” Hibari said. Breakfast was over quickly, as they both had work to do, and Mukuro took care of the dishes. Hibari was still pulling his suit jacket on as Mukuro headed out the door, stopping briefly to give him a quick kiss (and a grope, which provoked a fierce glare from Hibari). Then he was out the door and gone, with Hibari following a few minutes later.


Work wasn’t anything special. Hibari had a few intelligence reports to sift through, some paperwork, a meeting with Tsunayoshi and a few of his men. The day passed quickly, nothing in particular sticking in his mind - except for one thing.

While waiting for Tsuna to start the meeting, Hibari was forced to listen to the Rain and Storm Guardians bickering, or flirting, or whatever. Yamamoto got Gokudera coffee, Gokudera grudgingly accepted and then bitched about how much sugar Yamamoto had put in. Though Hibari ignored them as best he could, something about it bothered him more than it normally would.

It wasn’t as if he cared, and it wasn’t as if this didn’t happen all the time anyway. So what exactly was so annoying? He couldn’t place it, couldn’t quite figure out why.

He pushed it to the back of his mind, where it stayed for the rest of the day.


It was only when Hibari woke up the next morning that all the pieces fell into place. For once Mukuro was actually awake before him, and he came out of the bedroom to find Mukuro on the couch, eating a bagel and watching TV.

“Morning, Kyoya,” Mukuro said, glancing over and smiling at him. “You know, I hate this show. That comedian is so irritating.” He paused. “Do you think Tsunayoshi would be upset if I killed him?”

“Sawada’s always getting upset over some stupid thing,” Hibari said, and then he took the remote from Mukuro’s hand and switched the TV off. “What the hell is going on here?”

Mukuro gave him a strange look. “I’m eating breakfast. There are more bagels if you want one.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Hibari said, frowning. “Is this some kind of fucked up game of yours?”

Mukuro was silent for a moment, then he laughed. “Probably not, though maybe if you gave me more specifics I could tell you for sure.”

Hibari waved his hand at the apartment, frown deepening into a scowl. “Why the hell are we living together like a married couple? You sleep over every night, I don’t think you’ve stayed at your own place in months. You buy groceries! I cook for you!”

“Ken and Chikusa are living at my place, and you’re much neater than they are. Besides, you’re the one who asked me to stay over in the first place.” Mukuro shrugged, apparently unconcerned. “Can’t you save your quarter-life crisis for some time besides eight in the morning?”

“We’re like... like those two herbivores who follow Sawada around all the time. Domestic. This has to be some plot of yours.” Sure, he couldn’t figure out exactly what Mukuro would be getting out of this, but it’s not like Hibari could always follow the working of that twisted little mind. There had to be something.

Mukuro sighed. “Yes, Kyoya. My master plan has always been to get a key to your apartment so I can come in while you’re out and hide all your silverware. It’s nefarious, I know, but I am a criminal. You can’t expect anything else.”

Hibari stared at him. He couldn’t actually think of anything Mukuro could possibly have gotten out of this arrangement, so maybe it really was true.

“Besides, we’re not domestic,” Mukuro said, frowning just a little. “Don’t use a dirty word like that, I’m offended. I’m just staying here because it’s nicer than my place, and you’re letting me stay because of the fantastic sex. That’s not domestic.”

Hibari was silent for a long moment, thinking that over until he decided that it met with his approval. Mukuro was right, they weren’t at all like those herbivores, and they were obviously the furthest thing from married. It was convenient, that was all.

“Fine,” Hibari said, and tossed the remote back to Mukuro. “Just don’t start thinking anything stupid like that. I don’t even like you.”

“And I can barely stand you,” Mukuro said, switching the TV back on. “Now that that’s settled, your orange juice is in the fridge. I made you coffee, too.”

After another moment’s contemplation, Hibari shuffled off to the kitchen. Coffee sounded good right then.
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